Dec 24, 2009

Twas' the Night Before Christmas - Nurse Style

Twas the Night Before Christmas -A Nursing Version

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the floor
Lasix was given, filling foleys galore.
Stockings were worn to prevent emboli,
they came in two sizes, knee and thigh high.

The patients were nestled half-@$$ed in their beds,
while visions of stool softeners danced in their heads.
We in our scrubs, and they in their gowns,
Fashion created to hide extra pounds.

When down in the ER it became such a zoo,
they called with admissions for me and you.
They're coming, they're going, and they're all looking the same.
My patience for patients is starting to wane.

Now call lights are ringing, the patient 400 pounds,
says "Didnt get my pericare, send my nurse now".
And now delegation seems the best plan,
We try to send others, for the needs of this man.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Santa himself and 8 tiny reindeer.
Hey says he comes from Central Supply.
To bring us LR, NS, & D5.

The doctors then scribbled what no one could read.
Orders on patients, to measure their pee.
We try to decipher illegible words,
orders for patients, to guaiac their turds.

The new shift arriving, our day is now through,
How did stool & emesis get in my shoe?
We give them report and pass on the facts,
and tell them of duoderm lining the cracks.

And the nurses exclaim as they limp out of sight,
"Ativan to all, and to all a good night".

Dec 22, 2009

Nurses' Perks For Working on Christmas

There truly are advantages to working on Christmas and other holidays.  If you are scheduled to work a holiday, don't despair!  Look at the bright side.

OVERTIME PAY:  This is one perk that most nurses appreciate when working a holiday like Christmas.  The extra money can help with holiday expenses.  If you are really on the ball, you can start paying off your bills quicker – get a jump on your New Year's resolution.  If your loved ones are upset that you are not going to be there part of the day on Christmas, plan something special with them later in the week!  Let them know in advance what you will be doing.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO COOK:  Health care facilities go full scale on Christmas to make a fantastic meal for patients and family members.  Staff members working Christmas reap the benefit of a great holiday meal without the cooking and clean-up!

YOU GET TO WITNESS SPECIAL MOMENTS BETWEEN PATIENTS AND FAMILY MEMBERS:  You get a front row seat to those special holiday moments shared between patients and their family members.  You see the hugs from grandkids, the gifts exchanged, and hear the resolutions and hopes for the New Year.  This is a gift you can't and won't want to exchange!

YOU ARE REMINDED HOW LUCKY YOU ARE:  By seeing those special moments, you are reminded of how lucky you are and all of the great gifts in your own life.  After all, you get to leave the health care facility after your shift – conversely the patients have to stay!

YOU ARE NOT WORKING THE ENTIRE 24 HOUR PERIOD:  You still have about 12 hours of the day to spare.  Make plans to do something special on the holiday before or after your shift.  Create a unique and new tradition for your holiday this year!

Credit for this essay goes to Sue Heacock, RN

Dec 4, 2009

Some Pearls for EMS/ER to live by...

Credit for this goes to Thom Dick as publised in his JEMS article...

Following is a list of 30 Pearls for EMS/ER practice.... 
  1. People don’t change. 
  2. Some of the most beautiful people in the world come wrapped in the plainest packages .
  3. You can stir up as much trouble as you need to. Just make sure you do it only to make things better, your care is always top-notch and your certs are always up to date.
  4. You may be a medical genius. But sometimes it’s your job to just take people to the hospital.
  5. Never plan anything until after noon on the day after a 24-hour shift.
  6. People make stuff up, sometimes.
  7. This is medicine we’re doing here.
  8. There are two kinds of leaders in EMS: good ones, and those who spend just enough time in the field to realize they hate it—then presume that qualifies them to lead those who don’t.
  9. It’s not enough to be nice. You have to be competent and nice. 
  10. There’s a very good reason why you’ve never met a dual-role surgeon. 
  11. The genius who first presumed that one person could do two full-time jobs at once was an administrator who meant some other person.
  12. Liars lie—that’s why we call ’em liars.
  13. A whole lot of stuff is funnier than you think.
  14. Paramedics/ER Nurses get lied to for a living. There’s only one thing dumber (sic) than lying to one, and that’s lying to a whole room full of them at once.
  15. Anybody can be a former Paramedic/ER Nurse. All you have to do is quit.
  16. Never do anything you know is stupid (especially if the person who tells you to do it is stupid).
  17. You can break bad rules, especially if you’re funny.
  18. Your life insurance company wants you to be in perfect health, because that means you can keep on paying premiums. They don’t care if you’re happy.
  19. The concept of fear is not discussed in any EMS/Nursing text. That’s too bad, because fear is a component of all suffering.
  20. What’s right is not always popular; what’s popular is not always right.
  21. People who cut corners eventually find themselves running around in circles.
  22. If most people were smart, we would be unemployed.
  23. Be nice to people on your way up. You may meet them again on your way back down.
  24. If the patient tells you they’re about to die, they’re probably right.
  25. Nothing in the EMS/Nursing curriculum makes us judges.
  26. We should probably listen about twice as much as we talk.
  27. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
  28. If you’re tired of taking care of poor, old, dirty, naked sick people, take a rest. Do something else.
  29. Your ambulance is a machine that can either earn you a living or kill you on any day of your career. It probably deserves your respect.
  30. A partner who tells you not to worry about their driving because they "can handle it" most likely isn’t so sure. Maybe you’d better take the keys.